Telling your friend how she should handle a situation or standing her up because you got an offer to date a guy on Saturday night? If so, then you’ve broken the code - the friendship code. Do it too often and you could find your BFF talking you off her speed dial. Maybe you’re doing it without even realising you’re putting your friendship at risk. Avoid these faux pas and your friendships will become closer and stronger through the years :
STANDING HER UP LAST MINUTE :
Friendship is based on loyalty. So if you say you’re going to be there stick to your word. Standing a friend up last minute is a big no-no. Do it one too many times and she will either feel you’re trying to give her the flick or feel really hurt and annoyed by how unreliable you are. Either way, it will damage your relationship over time.
BEING TOO CLINGY :
If you’re acting this way then your BFF might feel she’s more like your mother than your girlfriend. This might not only make her want to avoid you sometimes, but it could lead her to be secretive because she’s worried that having any kind of life outside of her relationship with you will make you feel threatened or jealous or angry. Wake up. Just because you two are close doesn’t mean that you can’t hang out with other people sometimes. Space apart can be good for both of you and ensure that you come back fresh, with new stories and goss to tell each other. So don’t treat your bestie like she belongs to you.
ALWAYS GIVING YOUR OPINION :
Besties can be like your own personal counsellor on tap and that’s a special thing. When your friend wants that kind of advice and asks you for it, it’s great that you’re available to give it to her. But if you offer your opinion about everything from her haircut to her boyfriend problem when she didn’t ask you to weigh in, you could be really getting on her nerves without even knowing it. Being a friend does not mean that you are automatically her life coach. Firstly, who said you’re an expert on all these subjects? Secondly, implying that you know better about everything will make her feel you think she’s hopeless and clueless. Instead of telling your friend what she should be doing, ask her what she thinks would help her life.
SPILLING A SECRET :
Let’s get one thing straight - secrets from your friend go straight into the vault - and they stay there. You should never ever spill the details of something your BFF told you in confidence - it’s the ultimate betrayal.
SUCKING UP COMPLIMENTS BUT NEVER GIVING THEM :
Think back about all the ego-bolstering things your bestie has said to you lately - from saying you’re the “go to” person for solving problems to telling you that you will find a boyfriend because you’re such a fantastic girl. What about you, though - have you been sending compliments in her direction? If not, it’s time to make more effort to bolster her ego. “Boosting a friend’s ego is a win-win situation,” says Lawson. “Your friend will not only appreciate the fact that you don’t take her granted but your praise is likely to encourage her to praise you in return so you will feel better about yourself too.”
AUTHOR : I miss my best friend. err friend who had become my best friend before this.
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